Odita Sunday 
By Ewere Okonta
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eobnewsmedia@gmail.com
eob.org.ng
Every generation has its defining challenge. For our parents, it was survival. For many of us, it was access to education and employment. For today’s young people, however, the greatest battle is no longer fought in the classroom, the workplace, or even the marketplace. It is fought in the mind, a relentless struggle for validation from people whose opinions often have no real value.
We are living in an era where appearances have become more important than achievements, where perception is mistaken for reality, and where many people invest more energy in looking successful than in becoming successful. The desire to impress strangers has quietly become a way of life, and it is destroying ambition, financial discipline, mental health, and genuine human relationships.
Take a moment to observe what happens every day on social media. It appears as though everyone is living an extraordinary life. Every other person is travelling abroad, buying a new car, moving into a luxurious apartment, launching a business, or celebrating another milestone. Success seems effortless, and happiness appears to be universal.
But we know better.
Very few people post pictures of their disappointments. Hardly anyone uploads photographs of rejection letters, failed examinations, business losses, or sleepless nights. Social media has become a carefully edited exhibition of life’s highlights rather than an honest reflection of reality. Yet millions of young people compare their ordinary lives with these carefully curated moments and conclude that they are failures.
That comparison is one of the greatest tragedies of our time.
Many young people have become more concerned with appearing wealthy than with building wealth. Some purchase expensive phones on credit while struggling to pay school fees. Others spend months’ salaries on designer clothing but have no savings, no investments, and no long-term financial plan. Lavish birthday parties, luxury vacations, and expensive lifestyles are increasingly financed by debt rather than genuine prosperity.
The unfortunate reality is that many people are living for an audience that neither knows them personally nor cares about their future.
This obsession with external validation has also altered our values. Character is gradually giving way to cosmetics. Competence is being overshadowed by popularity. Knowledge is losing ground to noise. Wisdom is often ignored while controversy attracts applause. Today, the loudest voice is frequently mistaken for the wisest, and the richest-looking individual is often assumed to be the most successful.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Real success has never depended on public applause. It has always been built on discipline, consistency, integrity, competence, and patience. These qualities rarely trend on social media because they require time, sacrifice, and hard work. Yet they remain the only reliable foundation for lasting achievement.
Parents, too, must reflect on the role they play in this growing crisis. Many children grow up under constant comparison. Every conversation revolves around another person’s achievements.
“Look at your cousin.”
“Look at your neighbour’s son.”
“Why can’t you be like your classmate?”
While these statements may be intended to motivate, they often produce the opposite effect. Instead of inspiring confidence, they create insecurity. Instead of encouraging growth, they nurture feelings of inadequacy. Every child deserves to be guided according to his or her unique abilities rather than being measured against someone else’s journey.
Young people must also understand that success is not a competition. Life does not reward those who arrive first; it rewards those who remain committed to their purpose. Some people discover their path in their twenties, while others find theirs much later. Every meaningful journey has its own timeline, and comparison only distracts us from fulfilling our individual destinies.
Perhaps the greatest irony of this generation is that many people have thousands of followers online but very few genuine relationships offline. They receive countless likes on their photographs yet struggle with loneliness, anxiety, and depression. They appear confident before the camera but silently battle self-doubt behind closed doors.
The pursuit of constant approval is emotionally exhausting because there will always be someone richer, younger, more attractive, or more accomplished. If your happiness depends on outperforming everyone else, you are pursuing a goal that can never truly be achieved.
The most dangerous prison is not built with concrete walls or iron bars. It is the prison of comparison. It is the invisible cage created when we allow our self-worth to depend on the opinions of strangers.
As another week begins, every reader should pause and ask one important question: If social media disappeared tomorrow, who would I become?
Would you still pursue your dreams with the same determination?
Would you continue to acquire knowledge?
Would you still develop your skills?
Would you remain disciplined even if no one applauded your efforts?
Or has your entire life become a performance designed for an invisible audience?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the rewards of hard work. There is nothing wrong with owning beautiful things or living comfortably. The danger begins when our possessions become the basis of our identity, when our confidence depends on public approval, and when our peace of mind is determined by comments, likes, and online recognition.
The truth is remarkably simple. Real success is not measured by the number of people watching you. It is measured by the quality of the person you become when nobody is watching.
Invest in your education.
Develop your skills.
Protect your character.
Build your integrity.
Grow your competence.
These are the assets that no economic recession can destroy and no social media trend can replace.
At the end of life, people will remember neither the number of followers you accumulated nor the luxury items you displayed. They will remember your character, your contribution, your compassion, and the lives you touched.
Build substance before chasing applause.
Build competence before seeking recognition.
Build character before building your profile.
Because when the cameras are switched off, when the applause fades, and when the noise of the world eventually grows silent, the only thing that will truly matter is the person you have become.
That, more than anything else, is the true definition of success.
This is the Sunday sermon from my holy pulpit!
Have a thoughtful and purposeful Sunday.
Ewere Okonta is the CEO of EOB Media. He is a family values advocate. He writes from the Department of Business Administration, University of Delta, Agbor.
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