Odita Sunday 
By Ewere Okonta, PhD
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There is a dangerous breed of people in society who remember what you did for them only for as long as they need you. The moment they rise, they rewrite their history. The hands that lifted them suddenly become irrelevant, the people who stood by them become “nobodies,” and the prayers, sacrifices, financial support, advice, opportunities and connections that helped them along the way are conveniently erased from their personal narrative. Suddenly, they did it all by themselves.
Really?
In a world where self-praise has replaced humility and entitlement now parades as confidence; gratitude has become an endangered virtue. People want blessings but hate acknowledgment. They love receiving but hate remembering. They want to be helped but do not want to be reminded that they were once helped. Today, some people even consider saying “thank you” a sign of weakness and believe that acknowledging the contributions of others diminishes their own achievements.
It does not.
Gratitude does not reduce a person. Rather, it reveals the quality of his character. The uncomfortable truth is that many people do not fail because they lack talent, intelligence or opportunity. Some fail because they are ungrateful. They burn bridges, insult helpers, disrespect mentors, abandon friends and then wonder why the doors that once opened for them have suddenly become locked.
Sometimes, life is not mysterious. Sometimes, people are simply reaping what their attitude has planted.
GRATITUDE IS MORE THAN SAYING “THANK YOU”
Gratitude is more than a polite expression. It is a mindset, a posture of the heart and the ability to recognise grace when it appears through God, family, friends, mentors, strangers, institutions and circumstances. Nobody truly succeeds alone. Behind every success story are people whose names may never appear in the headlines. Someone prayed. Someone paid. Someone encouraged. Someone introduced. Someone recommended. Someone created an opportunity. Someone believed when others had given up.
The ungrateful person, however, often possesses a strange ability to remember the result while forgetting the process. He remembers the promotion but forgets who recommended him. She remembers the graduation but forgets who paid the school fees. They remember the business but forget the person who provided the capital. They celebrate the victory but forget the people who stood with them during the battle.
That is where the problem begins.
Ungratefulness is not always simple forgetfulness. Sometimes, it is arrogance dressed up as independence. It is the deliberate rewriting of history to make oneself the only hero in a story that involved many people. The moment a person begins to say, “I did it all by myself,” without remembering the hands that steadied him, he may have begun to lose something more important than success: character.
WHEN THE BIBLE SPEAKS ABOUT GRATITUDE
The Bible is filled with stories that demonstrate the power of gratitude and the destructive consequences of forgetting. Joseph, for instance, was betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused and imprisoned. Yet, he did not allow bitterness to become his identity. He had every reason to become angry with life, but when his moment came, he did not forget God or allow success to turn him into someone who forgot where he came from.
From the pit to the palace, Joseph understood that elevation was not merely a product of his intelligence or ability. There was grace in his story.
David also understood the power of remembrance. He never forgot Jonathan. Years after Jonathan’s death, David still remembered the kindness of his friend. When he discovered that Jonathan had a son, Mephibosheth, David did not ask what the young man could do for him. Instead, he sought an opportunity to show kindness to the house of Jonathan.
That is gratitude. Gratitude remembers people even when they can no longer repay you. It is the difference between genuine appreciation and calculated association.
The story of the ten lepers in Luke 17 remains one of the most powerful biblical lessons on gratitude. Ten people were healed, but only one returned to acknowledge Jesus. The question Jesus asked still resonates today: “Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine?”
Ten received the miracle, but only one returned to acknowledge the source of the miracle. The story teaches that gratitude does not merely acknowledge a blessing; it preserves the relationship with the source of the blessing.
How many people have received the miracle but forgotten the God who made it possible? How many have received help but forgotten the helper? How many have been lifted but now behave as though they were never once down?
THE MOST DANGEROUS INGRATE IS THE ONE WHO THINKS HE IS SELF-MADE
There are people who become angry whenever they are reminded that someone helped them. They respond by saying, “I never asked you to help me.” Perhaps they did not. But they accepted the help, benefited from it and, in many cases, used it to reach a position they could not have attained at that particular time without assistance.
Nobody is suggesting that people should hold their assistance over the heads of others forever. That is also wrong. However, there is something fundamentally disturbing about a person who becomes successful and immediately develops amnesia.
Suddenly, the person who gave him his first opportunity becomes irrelevant. The friend who stood by him during his darkest hour becomes too familiar. The mentor who opened doors for him becomes old-fashioned. The family members who sacrificed for him become jealous.
This is how pride begins to corrupt the human heart.
The ungrateful person often believes that everyone who reminds him of his past is jealous of his success. Sometimes, however, those people are not jealous. Sometimes, they are simply shocked that he has forgotten.
WHEN GRATITUDE DIES, ENVY TAKES OVER
King Saul is one of the clearest biblical examples of how entitlement can destroy a person. He was chosen, anointed and elevated from obscurity to royalty. Somewhere along the line, however, Saul forgot the God who lifted him. Envy eventually entered his heart, and he began to see David, not as a national asset, but as a threat.
The same David whose music had once soothed his troubled spirit eventually became the man Saul wanted dead.
This is what ungratefulness can do. It can make a person suspicious of the very people whose contributions once benefited him. It can make him forget yesterday’s helper because today’s success has made him uncomfortable with his history.
Saul did not lose everything in one day. His decline began in the heart. First, appreciation disappeared. Then insecurity emerged. Envy followed. Destructive behaviour came next, and eventually, the kingdom was lost.
Many people are walking the same road today.
JUDAS AND THE PRICE OF FORGETTING GRACE
Judas Iscariot sat at the table with Jesus. He walked with Him, witnessed miracles and heard teachings that millions would later give anything to hear. Yet, he betrayed Jesus for money.
The frightening lesson is that a person can be close to greatness and still fail to appreciate it. One can sit at the table and still betray the person who fed him. One can benefit from another person’s grace and still become the instrument of that person’s pain.
Ungratefulness values temporary gain over enduring relationships. It chooses momentary benefits over the priceless value of loyalty. This is not merely a biblical problem. It happens every day when people abandon relationships for temporary benefits, trade loyalty for access, betray trust for money and discard people once they have extracted everything they need from them.
Life, however, has a way of keeping records.
INGRATITUDE KILLS FAVOUR QUIETLY
Ungratefulness is not always loud. Sometimes, it smiles. Sometimes, it shakes your hand. Sometimes, it calls you “my brother” while secretly calculating how to discard you. Sometimes, it simply stops remembering.
That is often how relationships die.
The helper does not always announce that he is leaving. The mentor may not confront you. The friend may not send a long message. The person who once answered your calls at midnight may simply stop picking up.
Why?
Because people eventually become tired of pouring into a vessel that never acknowledges the water.
Let me be direct: some people are not suffering from a shortage of helpers. They have simply exhausted their helpers. They have collected from everybody, thanked nobody, disrespected those who helped them and treated kindness as an entitlement. Eventually, everybody wisely decides to keep his distance.
You cannot insult grace and expect grace to remain permanently available.
GRATITUDE IS THE LANGUAGE OF HONOUR
Gratitude builds relationships that money cannot buy. It sustains mentorship, strengthens marriages, preserves friendships, creates loyalty and keeps families together. A grateful employee earns trust. A grateful student attracts more opportunities. A grateful leader inspires loyalty, while a grateful friend becomes difficult to replace.
Why? Because gratitude tells people, “I see you. I remember you. I do not take you for granted.”
Everybody wants to be seen. Everybody wants to be appreciated. Everybody wants to know that his sacrifices were not wasted. You do not need to buy expensive gifts to demonstrate gratitude. Sometimes, all you need to say is, “Thank you,” “I remember what you did for me,” or “I appreciate you.”
Those words cost almost nothing, yet many people are too proud to say them.
GRATITUDE PROTECTS THE SOUL FROM ENVY
One of the greatest benefits of gratitude is that it protects the human heart from the poison of comparison. A grateful person understands that every journey is different. He can celebrate another person’s success without feeling diminished and appreciate what he has while working towards what he desires.
Gratitude does not mean that a person should stop aspiring. It simply means that while reaching for more, he does not despise what he already has. Gratitude makes a person humble in success and hopeful in delay. It reminds him that his life is not merely the product of his brilliance.
There is effort. There is discipline. There is hard work. But there is also grace.
Anybody who has lived long enough knows that grace is real. There are doors you did not open, battles you did not fight and dangers you never knew you escaped. There are people who helped you without expecting anything in return. You may call it luck or coincidence, but I call it grace.
THE DANGEROUS DELUSION OF “I OWE NOBODY ANYTHING”
One of the most popular slogans of modern arrogance is, “I owe nobody anything.”
Really?
Who raised you? Who taught you? Who gave you your first opportunity? Who prayed for you? Who supported you? Who believed in you? Who stood by you when you were difficult to love? Who gave you the opportunity that you now use to claim that you never needed anybody?
The truth is that nobody is completely self-made. Even the person who worked hard benefited from a system, an opportunity, a teacher, a parent, a friend, a colleague, a customer or a society that made the journey possible.
You may have done the work, but you did not create the entire road.
Therefore, humility is not weakness. Gratitude is not slavery. Appreciation is not inferiority. You can acknowledge the people who helped you without surrendering ownership of your achievement. In fact, acknowledging them makes your achievement even more honourable.
THE DIVINE LAW OF RETURN
Life has a strange way of returning what we give. If you sow gratitude, you cultivate relationships. If you sow appreciation, you attract goodwill. If you sow honour, you create a legacy. But if you sow ingratitude, arrogance and betrayal, do not be surprised when people eventually stop showing up for you.
Gratitude is a currency, while ungratefulness is a debt. Sooner or later, every debt demands payment.
The ungrateful person may rise for a season. He may become wealthy, powerful or famous. But if he continues to destroy every bridge behind him, there will eventually come a time when he needs to cross a river and discovers that he has burnt every bridge.
That is why I believe that ingrates may rise, but they rarely go far. Success is not only about how high a person climbs. It is also about how many meaningful relationships he destroys on his way up.
THE FINAL WORD
Do not let success erase your memory. Do not let money make you forget poverty. Do not let education make you despise those who could not go to school. Do not let power make you forget the people who stood by you when you had none. Do not let a new relationship make you forget old friends. Do not let a new position make you despise the people who helped you get there.
And above all, do not let pride silence the words, “Thank you.”
Gratitude builds, while ungratefulness destroys. Gratitude preserves, while ungratefulness consumes. Gratitude opens doors, while ungratefulness quietly closes them.
The person who remembers where he came from is more likely to understand where he is going. Those who forget the people, places and circumstances that helped them rise often discover, painfully, that success without gratitude is simply another form of poverty.
SUNDAY THOUGHT
Gratitude is not merely an act; it is an attitude, and attitude determines altitude.
The divine law is simple: grateful people go further. Ingrates may rise, but they rarely prosper for long.
This is the Sunday sermon from my holy pulpit!
Dr Ewere Okonta is the CEO of EOB Media, a family values advocate, lecturer and writer. He writes from the Department of Business Administration, University of Delta, Agbor.
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